places you have come to fear the most

by dashboard confessional
Well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please
Everyone
Or anyone at all.


song that im listening to right now. compelled me to write some more. yeah im slightly aware that my myspace obsession is now creeping over into blogs but its cool.

so anyway this song remings me of thee ex boyfriend...which you know is all right, because despite being together for OneYearSixMonths (just like thee yellowcard song.) im surprisingly upbeat about our break-up. might have something to do with his lack of being in the country for the past two months, and his not planning to return until july. selfish? yeah i thought so. and therefore for the first time in the history of our relationship - i broke up with him. numbers cannot describe the amount of times we have broken up in the relatively short space of time we've been together.

BUT

this time we havent spoken for two weeks. thats right. there is my willpower for all to see. i sent him a fairly evil break-up text (text really was the only option from the other side of the world) and have not heard from him since. and have also not had the urge to contact him. which is a new experience for me.

it would be a lie to say that i dont think about him. because i do.

but its like the other dashboard song..ghost of a good thing, which only now have i come to realise the real meaning of. by breaking up with him, i got over the horrible need i had to hold on to the memories of all the good times. this time i have finally realised that it doesnt work anymore. and im glad :)

and so freaking proud of myself.

but anyway...now there are new boy dramas to contend with

JOY


muchas love xxx

p.s. these could be the coolest things i have seen all day..